1. You can keep my silence if you want to, right now, the moments between my silence and my words are much stronger.
2. Will you be my book?
3. I've often wondered, when in so much pain, what really is pain and how does it feel. The next moment is always a numb moment.
4. You've deluded me by being too far and too near at once.
5. I know I'll regret every moment you made me hate you. 
6. Hate is a strong word. I wonder if we ever gave someone the true sense of hatred.
7. Not even a million words would tell you anything. Anything.
8. Can we walk anti-clockwise? I'd undo so much with you and enjoy it.
9. You need to stop feeling for a while to feel again, to really feel again.
10. I'm in love with my saddest lesson ever, my old heartbroken soul and broken love story, I'm in love with its pain now.
11. If I said that I enjoy being numb, does that mean I'm lying, because technically, being numb is about feeling nothing, not even enjoyment.
12. You could only be a book character, nothing more. At least not to me. Otherwise I won't be able to stop loving you.
13. I could see a rainbow of books just by the mere thought of you. God, what you evoke is beautiful.
14. I'd love to be the remains of your memory.
15. I could be the word you're reading if I wanted to, you know I could. I could make you think this is all about you when it's not. I could delude you the way you deluded me, I could do just about anything to tell you that I do not love you, but it would only mean I love you a lot more than what I pretend, and fail to pretend, to do. Ugh..

You remember how we sat with chairs across of each other and opened our unfinished books to read them like finishing a chapter of our lives? You know how you comforted yourself and sat cross-legged, holding your book too tight and giving the impression that you'd cry your heart out if someone stole it, like a precious diamond? You had some kind of a dazzling smile that I had never seen before, and I wondered that day, I wondered too much that I thought I asked myself aloud, do books do this? Do books make us this beautiful? I can see you like I'm seeing a character I'm reading that has suddenly come to life, incarnated with all your beautiful features and smiles and laughter, only with a different name. I get back to my book so fast I think you see my failed attempt at sneaking. Every two minutes I finish a paragraph I think it has you in it somehow, the smile or the words maybe. Sometimes I come across a word you love like "infinity" or your favorite purple color or even your favorite flower. I once read that the universe conspires to make everything you really want, happen, only now I do believe it does.

Is it books that made me believe? Or loving you that made my heart biased to you? Is it just a smile or a word or a favorite color that makes me think this is for me? Or am I only being a fool by seeing you without seeing you? You'd think I'm too tugged in my book that I forget you, but instead I'm reading this book for you, to you, about you, and with you.

Source

In reply to the previous prose. This is all in my head so don't worry :)

I need to write you in the most cliché words because running away from you always takes me back to you. Let me craft the idea of you like I'm portraying my favorite novel character. You'd be reading under a dim light, so tugged in your book I'd get jealous of the characters inside, they're so lucky to be flying freely inside your imagination while I'm only watching you from a two-meter space that kills me to get closer. I wish I could read with you to share the same thoughts (I wish we'd be one). I pretend to be busy with my book too but I find that every character reminds me of you, even if you're not really similar, they just invoke you in some mysterious ways. I flip through each page in a speck of a second while stealing a look at you from the corner of my eyes. I start to be so good at this you barely notice me. And I barely notice myself when you lean closer to the book and I melt as if you're drawing me in one of your characters too.  You make me love books and the words inside them, because they talk about you. I know they do, they tell me that I love you, not as cliché as I write it, but in the warmest, deepest, calmest words I could ever read. I love you, like the books say it. And I'll find a better way to say it one day.

Written for you.
4th of Jan. 8:23 PM.

Write about patriotism, about victory and defeat. Write about revolutions and rebels and prisoners and wars. About emotions, of love and hatred and disappointment and regret. Intangible love and uncolored hatred and heartbreaking disappointments and abysmal regrets. Write about the seven deadly sins, about stealth and murder and gluttony and greed. Don’t forget to write about saints and sinners all the same. Write the poor and the rich using the same words, make them equal for once. Write about mothers who lost their children, about those who never had to lose; I challenge you to tell me which hurts more. Write about darkness and light, about light in the dark and darkness in the light. Remember to write about lost friendships, about those who never found a shoulder when life shut its lights dim, or those who kept the secret to their sadness within. Be fair to them too. Remind the world of those who always had someone to love but not someone to love them back, craft their nights and dreams carefully. Don’t forget the writers, who keep promises with words and silence. Be subtle. Be warm. Remember heartbeats and heartbreaks. Remember everything, remember all, equally.

And then let the world remind you: Words will never be fair to whatever you write.

It's funny how when the pain lessens,
the heart knows the reasonable reason why.
Only then. You'd stop to stare at your depth;
"Why haven't I found the answers in my core".

I'm sorry, you were just indulged in the
moment. That one that lasted a lifetime
And the rest lasted a bit more than you.
You. Faded. To ashes.



4:38 PM

But my words sank beneath your horizon,
unwilling to fight the transfixing silence,
with a single beat of echoing lines

For between your melodies
and my stanzas
rest the eternally unfamiliar ties
of passion.

And the oceanic nights
of sleeplessness.


Written April 23th.2011 8:51 PM

For you, because you know...

© Dust and Lyrics by ~Joni-Kay @ deviantArt

It was an invitation your heart sent
to mine, to escape the night
-though the moonlight was breathing..

my steps suddenly made music with the
gentle moves of your chest against the air,
and the stars would shrink into
infinite universes,
so that the symphony would light
the galaxies of our love.

Your looks tickled my heart,
almost so coyly my feelings embraced
the tenderness of your stares,
finding a hideout just to
let you not see the blushing in my dance.

Moments and moments are reborn,
time is unending, and
the oneness of our heartbeats is a metaphor
for a love poem, written with no hands
nor pens,
But the yellowness in our dance.


In color symbolism, the yellow color symbolizes joy, happiness and optimism.

Written Mon. Oct 18,10. 11:00 Pm.

























© Dance in the dark. Image by 6-marionettes @ Deviantart.

Oh, that precise moment, when you know your heart beat is going faster than planes above you, countless beats per second shut your mind, and right then you'd know there's only one thing that is close to life: nirvana. You smile as if to say goodbye to that gloomy world behind you, your eyes change colors as if tears were rain and the sun would shine before you--You're a rainbow!
Stop, NOW! Think about it, that step, you..you're only one step away. Do you really want to do this? It could be temporary, the shimmering stars, that lightening above you.
Yes. Now go..for even if eclipse were to happen, the moon will go full again.


-Title from the poem Meeting point by Louis MacNeice, posted here a while ago!
-Inspired by this

I have a never-ending dictionary for each time you say you love me, so that my heart would interpret it differently. Then I would draft my love to you, like a child drawing the sunlight at the corner of a paper, sending rays and coloring the skies as if it's a world of their imagination, too startling to exist, yet exists.

Your love would blossom in me, faster than the speed of light--no matter the season. And the beat of my heart would irrigate this feeling, nourish these sentiments..
Until our eyes meet again,
Just so you'd live
in me
evermore.


**

There's a weeping wall between
your heart and mine,
A rising sun, dark and dull,
a barren field—
meet me there..
And we'll intertwine.

There's an empty pen,
an obsolete piano
you cannot mend,
A cold summer day—
call me there..
And we'll sing

There's a poem unfinished,
with a closure to find;
a never-ending end—
Follow me there..
And we'll unwind.



Probably not a poem. And I thought I'd be better than this.. lol

I traced the shadows of yesterday
only to find your footprints
engraved on my heart-
I still remember you.

I watch the day fade to night,
breathing an old love I could not visualize;
perhaps a mere picture of a hazy dream-

ambiguity ...


10:35 PM.

When you wake up-tonight..
remember the shimmer of the stars,
the stardust,
the zephyr that used to
hit your face with tenderness
-when I'm with you-

Remember the promise that you made
when you told me:
"I promise to forget you"
just when I kissed the air goodbye;
leading myself to thorny lanes.

Remember..
the day we met
is the day we parted
just like a glimpse-
we were a silhouette

so please..
when you remember me,
drown your scowls-yet..
remember to forget.


--Somewhere between trying to remember and remembering, you just need to let go..
*Just a silly thought*

Let the pain absorb the soul
Forget about being whole
Let your heart shatter, beautifully
For you've fallen in love, deeply
It will hurt and it will heal
It will sound fake but sometimes real
You'll cry, you'll weep and smile
You'll be free, living in your own exile
Your world will be like an abrupt circle
You never know if you'll go straight or stumble
---------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry for the words I had to utter
I'm left here with my heart shattered
Beating slowly and sometimes fast
It hurts to say the pain will last
Amnesia is something I really wish for
To let you forget the pain I caused you before
I wish we could start all over, from the first Hello
But to keep the love in my heart, and you won't know

I smile
you giggle
You cry
I weep
I touch
You caress
You gloom
I break
I grieve
You fall
You whisper
I scream
I think
You daydream
We breathe
In and out
Inside of each others
We talk
with silence
Magically
We smile, we fall, we cry,we crawl, we never stopped dreaming, we never stopped yearning.
This is us

Sometimes thinking of you
makes me more tired than glad
For the end, I might detest..
with losing all what we now have

Beginnings are the easiest
Midsts are the wild desire
I pray everyday for a miracle to happen
with hearts eternally set on fire

I Love You ♥

I drink that cup of coffee alone..thoughts keep lingering in me invading my mind with cruelty.
Shadows of the night consuming my skin, leaving me so old, yet I'm somehow young
I left that black hole in his heart, not knowing it would hurt me the same way
I ended up being distracted, even by the slightest things I think of
It wasn't love, it was never meant to be like this..
I guess I was taken down by emotions
Does it have to hurt this way?
Being dragged by this love,or by that body's embraces?
Since when do I miss that feeling?? the lonely hearts' caresses.
I can't seem to have enough of this, even if it was just a stupid big lie
Sometimes lies are the best things that could happen to us, with denying what they are
I miss you..I can't believe I'm saying it..I just wish none of this was ever true
Since the moment you told me you loved me..I was already falling in love with you

In between the fights
and the struggle of the soul
I need you
In between the love we share
the words said here and there
I need you
The secrets we tell with no fright
of being lonesome till eternity
I need you
The hugs, the kisses and the smiles
The unspoken words, the passion burned
I hear you
Imaginary touches, caresses and lust
The fit of the spaces between our fingers.
We daydream
Reveries of this burnt love, we tremble
warm snuggles, withdrawing shivers
We daydream
I love you's are till the end of time
Passion is just between him and I

I need you,
I hear you,
let's daydream forever,
because I love you

I tried to think of a love song, a dedication to you, but only when I thought of it, words grew cliche and naive.
Nothing compares to writing 10-lined thoughts with words that only you would perceive.
minutes that pass by with the clock ticking, are days and months counted in my heart..
It's been exactly 120 minutes and I missed every good and even bad thing about you..
The world inside of me is breaking, without you it keeps falling apart
A thunderstorm takes place each time I hear your feet steps are fading through.
If you're going to fall, just take me with you, life has been cruel enough to stand.
I can feel your love already, without hugs, kisses, nor holding hands.
The smiles that you hit me with, keep taking every single part of my scanty soul
Uttering, laughing, smiling, even when you're wordless you make me amazingly whole.


Exactly 10 lines, lol