And you could not rise -
For your words imprisoned you,
and silence lingered.


It's a Senryu piece, a shitty one. I'm just pissed off and needed to write something very concise.

So here I am again, with my in-depth confessions and my own killer: words.
We all get those feelings when we really really want to write/play music/draw/artivate yet it's either work that gets to us, or it's procrastination--and I say the latter wins the fight!
I have been so burdened with some thoughts, some really different and various thoughts that probably have nothing to do with one another.
First come dreams: dreams are a huge pill of insomnia for me, or in other words I'd say a big part of the burden I carry inside. My death dreams are visiting me on almost a weekly basis now, each time differently. Sometimes shot at heart, sometimes bleeding on bathroom floors, other times just me dying without actually knowing how. Now the question is, will writing really take it off my mind? I don't really think so; I'm really starting to doubt life and I've been experiencing twitches of my whole body on a mere thought of death. This is just so weird..
Please don't prejudge and say I'm a pessimist, death is not pessimism, it's reality!

Second come words: If you know me pretty well, you'd understand the effect of words in my life, and it's partly why I really wanna be a writer, a published writer to be quite frank. Words are underrated, and they're a world changer, either positively or negatively. And although my poetry and prose are not all positive, I still think inspirational sayings within my lines may change the way someone feels about writing or about life. If you carry some wisdom in your words, you're a world changer :)

Third come the thousands of topics I have in mind: I think about stereotypes, about the invisible world, about racism and sexism and extremism. I think about bombs and how the shock waves are what really causes the real damage in the world, not the bombs themselves. I think about the society and the ignorant thinking and all those theories of conspiracy and capitalism. I think about politics, how people are using the words "The revolution" only to say the world is coming to a stop and everything's been worsening more and more. I think about just too many things that I'm always left without talking about any single thing of them. And that's the worst of all.

Being a writer, I think I'm meant to suffer with the words I'll want to say, I think I'll die with so many words left unsaid, stories left untold and reflections buried with me. I'll just keep fighting to change the world somehow with the thoughts I can free out loud, until maybe, just maybe, one day I'll be able to make someone write, to make someone truly change the world if I never had the chance to, and then I'll stand before my Creator and truly feel like I've done something worth living for, and worth even more dying for.

May Allah guide us all to a peaceful, world-changing soul!