حيرني سؤالُك

وأجبت فيحرتني إجابتي

ثم تمنيت أنك لم تسأل

وأنّي لم أُجِب

وأننا لم نَكُن

أنت و أنا

اتركوني أنصرف

اتركوني أختبئ

تحت طيات السنين

بمَ في أهترئ

فلم يعد للقلب لونٌ

لا خريف أو ربيع

لم يكد ظلي يشٍفُ

ليحنّ لماضٍ فقير

فلا ماضٍ يطوله الذكر

ولا حاضرُ يكفي النحيب

بينما ضاع مستقبلي

بين صديق و غريب

أطلقوا روحي إلى

بحر أسئلة بعيد

فيه أين و كيف و متى

يتحرر العبيد

اذكروا لي وصفةً

دون موت السجناء

علّ شمسهم تحرق

أرضي أرضُ الداء

أو قولوا لي ماهيتكم

قد يدلني فكري الكفيف

حيث تقطن ضالتي

لأحرر بها الضعيف

اتركوني...

10:49  24 سبتمبر 2012.

Courtesy here

It's funny how when the pain lessens,
the heart knows the reasonable reason why.
Only then. You'd stop to stare at your depth;
"Why haven't I found the answers in my core".

I'm sorry, you were just indulged in the
moment. That one that lasted a lifetime
And the rest lasted a bit more than you.
You. Faded. To ashes.



4:38 PM

They've got their eyes fixed on me, staring at me, scrutinizing my breaths, looking at my gestures, my facial expressions. And I want to scream. I feel naked.
I
feel
naked.
They put their hands on their mouths, eyes still gazing at my depth, though all they stare at is the emptiness that I manifest. I'm no illusionist but I'm not an open book either; open books rather carry the gloomiest pages. I try to hold my breath, to let the sun ray penetrate my being so that all they'd see is..is..someone else, not me. I hide my heart beneath my chest, I'm not really sure where, probably in the deepest depths of my soul, so that when the sun shines no more, my heart and soul would be one. And I'd be but the reflection of that which I chose to show.
My heart would be my cloak to hide what appears to be what they want it to be, not what I am. What lies beneath me. They create me inside their heads. They name me. A fool or an ignorant or a clueless child. Sometimes smart or arrogant or even selfish. And when they're proven wrong, a series of new names comes pouring down like that first. And though I don't know what they call me, my heart pulsates like it's been pushed into living, into re-living, except that it's dying. Your heart doesn't always beat faster when it's in love. Fear does that too. And hatred.
I'm not sure when will their eyes abandon me, but I'll have to push my heart and soul back into their places so that I can be, fearless, what they'd never thought of me.



11:57 AM.

Photo credit to Knukkohed

There is a difference between
Your loneliness and my
Aloneness

You were meant to be by yourself
Like the last fallen leaves of 
Autumn
While I chose to be

Alone. Even with you. I chose to
Own my being. To be.
Because to be with people
Is to not be.

I wear my pride, cinnamon brown
After a fiery red. For it has
Faded away. Grown old. Jaded.

-But they say the older you grow
the more stubborn your thoughts are-

We were destined to be
Together and apart.
But I'm sorry - I can never give you
An antidote to loneliness
With my devouring aloneness. 

Photo credit to PorcelainPoet @ Deviantart.