One day I shall be sorry not for what I've made
And I will walk the road of loneliness, proud it is my fate
I need you not in my life, I'm a man and I was taught cruelty
Your existence is my sickness, I, to your love, am diseased
Let me stumble, let me crumble, let me fall to little parts
First my soul, my happiness, my sanity and my heart
For he who lives a slave to someone who only causes cracks
Is the one who eventually falls, while the other is still on track
I love you not, my heart was the cost, to your austere betrayal
You can break the hearts, smash the souls..but never..I'm not that frail

I blocked all the roads of pain
To not get to my heart
I seized all the good chances
that could lead to a beating pulse

I created an anti-pain umbrella

I put on thousands of skins
Pretending I could cease the falls
Pain comes abruptly with no expectations
And then all is defeating me

And my anti-pain umbrella dies..

Black is the new white
Hatred is the new love
Bloody kisses are the new lust
Dreams are nightmares dreamt of

Sad is the new happy
Torture is the new strife
Happy tears are blackened
Dead is the new alive

Where are my reasons to live
Or am I only living to die..?
Is this how it always sounds..
Am I truly living to die ??

Confusion ..


NB: This is NOT poetry..My blog was never meant to be poetry..it was meant to be poetic..thoughts and thoughts and thoughts.

Raindrops are vanishing
Anguish keeps taking over
No, please don't let the sun shine
I want to still be living here
In the dark

Close the curtains, let darkness prevail
With my ghosts, leave me there
Even if it sounded like I'm hallucinating
I don't give a damn, let me be me
The one addicted to thinking of you

No matter how pathetic it feels
To wish for things I cannot have
Hope keeps coming and drifting
False hope, with the right person
And he leaves me to die..

Let the pain absorb the soul
Forget about being whole
Let your heart shatter, beautifully
For you've fallen in love, deeply
It will hurt and it will heal
It will sound fake but sometimes real
You'll cry, you'll weep and smile
You'll be free, living in your own exile
Your world will be like an abrupt circle
You never know if you'll go straight or stumble
---------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry for the words I had to utter
I'm left here with my heart shattered
Beating slowly and sometimes fast
It hurts to say the pain will last
Amnesia is something I really wish for
To let you forget the pain I caused you before
I wish we could start all over, from the first Hello
But to keep the love in my heart, and you won't know

Death comes knocking on your door
You drop a tear and forever is sore
You stand on a snowy narrow lane
Tears flooding down your face with shame
No one visits her, like she is dead in the heart
Not a thing reminded you of her, now you're drifting apart
Why did you come back?
Just because your heart is cracked??
She's gone for good, I hope you're satisfied
Selfishness and betrayal were feeding you inside
Remorse is eating at you now, but for how long..
Will you cry for a body that is already gone?
Let your greed feed you again, go on your way
You've lost a chance and neglected what she used to say
Let her be, give her peace in her dirty coffin
And I hope torture will kill you from within

Lines are fading
slowly I disappear
the words I write vanish
Feelings are no longer sincere

Gloom rises
I only need isolation
the dead parts in me
Needn't any consolation

A heart of coldness
Rests inside my lies
I'm so perfect in this
the creation of disguise