It's been 7 years since my dad's been working outside the country..I see him once or maybe twice a year.
I'm not really sad, I already have a broken relationship with him..
But..I still can't find out why..why is he doing this to me? don't tell me it's his character, because people change for other people, especially when they're their dads.
I've never seen him put his arms around my shoulder, barely felt his affection...why?
I know he doesn't hate us, he's one of those workaholics who failed in their social life.
19 years of my life, and I have never seen my dad hug one of us, unless he's traveling he shows some of his impossible affection..
Today I was reading a book about someone who has lost her mum who was her best friend, and talked about her dad in such a beautiful way. I cried tears out for knowing someone so lucky..I wish I could be in her shoes, even though she lost her mum..both were her best friends.
I miss dad, I've never had a chance to talk the inside out with him, he barely knows my personality, never knew what I need, what I want or what makes me happy/sad.
I sometimes ask god to forever not bring him home (No I don't hate him), it's just so hard to deal with him now, I have grown up, I have my own perspectives and he will never ever appreciate or understand that..my life to him is just a dog he's humiliating with a rope.
I know some people would read this and say I'm exaggerating, but truth is you gotta live the life I do to understand this.
Today and yesterday haven't been so well with me, some friends upsetting me, some family issues.
Now can I ask for one hug? just one affectionate, sentimental hug before I die ..?
Thoughts of you, warm my bones...
3 months ago
Oh Nema, I am so sorry to read this. I won't say bad things about your dad, because no matter how are parents are to us, they are always ours. It might not be now, but someday your father will realize that while he was busy with work, he missed out on his children's childhood. And he will make it upto all of you. Nema, life does take away a lot from us, and at times, does not even give us what naturally falls into other's laps, but it also makes up for it in other ways. I am sure you will make a beautiful parents and will give your children all that you wanted from yours. I pray you have a husband who loves you unconditionally and makes up for all the love you didn't receive when you wanted it the most. I will not say you are exaggerating when you say all this. Not everyone's family picture is rosy. Don't worry about it. Life will make it up to you one day. Have faith. And take care of yourself Nema. Really concerned and I wish you all the world's happiness.
my fa died since 18 years ago
and i'm 20 years
يعنى تقدرى تقولى انى ماشفتش بابايا
ربنا يخلى باباكى طبعا يارب
بس بقولك كده عشان تقريبا فى نفس الموقف يعنى اكيد حاسه بيكى يعنى
بس
you don't always need a dad
But you always need kind people
فى حياتى كلها المرات اللى حسيت فيها بغياب والدى متتعداش 5 مرات بسبب الناس الكويسه اللى حواليا
الحنان ممكن يتحس بنظره فى عين اى حد بيحبك
وهو ده اللى يغنيكى عن اى حد
والدك فعلا يستاهل حبك
حتى لو هو مش مبين حنانه بس هو من جوا فعلا كده
________
على فكره انا اعتقد انى بفهم قلوب الناس كويس اوى حتى لو مشفتهمش فى حياتى
ايون يعنى خدى كلامى ده بثقه :D
ربنا يرجعهولك بالسلامه :)
Your words are always amazing :)
Thank you honey, I so believe in the theory that as long as life took something from us, it will make it up to us with another more beautiful thing.
I've been losing some friends lately, so I just felt like I need a fatherly hug..because it would mean the world to me!
Thank you for understanding and I wish you the best too! you're such a great person :)
Angel: rabena yeg3alo mn as7ab eljanna insha'allah :)
I consider my dad somewhat dead..he never shares anything with us, even when my sister got engaged shal eido mn kol 7aga..so it doesn't really matter his absence or presence.
bas fe3lan..ma7adesh 3agbo 7aga, I know my situation is so much better than other people..alas I ignore the qualities. (not always lol)
I do trust your words and thank you for taking the time to read the blog, bgad means a lot to me :)
my father has died about 18 years ago , since I was 4 years old.
I learned not to ask for hugs from anyone.. yeah, I always needed those, it was really killing me.But now, I only in charge of giving hugs and not receiving anything in return !
Prince of silence: I'm sorry to hear that..
I do crave his hugs from time to time, but it's not as if I'm dying to have them..he turned his back on believing in me..why should I exert the effort to do so?
Anyway..thanks for the comment :)
it's always great to give hugs and receive nothing in return, because remember, what you receive is wordless :)