Sometimes I leave my world
to drown in oceans of reveries
I dream out loud..
Of being a little kid
chasing butterflies in the yard
Right before me-
There is a field of dazzling roses
it doesn't matter when I'm alone
for when beauty truly captures you,
There's no escape from it all..

Sometimes I dream..
of pink cotton candies
watching my dad buys me a dozen
even if I'm alone,
with no friends at all..
I tend to smile in the depth
For nothing in me is broken.

Other times I see me fly
in a big, big cloudy sky
running after bluebirds
and the moonlight guides me
protecting my own world

Always have I dreamed
of playing hide and seek
with a bunch of pretty friends
and colored, delicious sweets.

Never have I broken
Someone's heart ..
though cruelty always knew it's way to me
and people's betrayals defeated me ..

I knew how to grow up smiling
and someday,
Someday..
Happiness will defeat them


This is not the childhood I had..Alas ..

A feather in the air
falling like a rain drop
wings that forgot how to fly
disappear in a vacuous spot

How could a dazzling view
ache the feelings inside
wings that flew so high
fall to the ground and die

Raise those feathers in the sky
Recreate a broken wing
This time fix the dead parts
with what hope will bring

Take those wings and fly
they're are not broken anymore
Raise your voice, let the world know
Hope is what we'll be looking for..

Inspired by this pic :)

Have I told you about the real me?
the one whose inside is filled with glee?
I sometimes love the pain that makes me feel numb
and how I watch myself slowly drift away and succumb
I like to imagine that life will never be perfect
But I also like to imagine that I'm loving it's imperfections
I sometimes drown in an ocean of my own vicious land
Then wonder about how I get up and easily stand
They blame it on teenage days, I blame it on the inner me
the one that constantly loves creating non-existent misery
I think about the future, not the present nor the past
though I usually let my memories long last
I've never seen flowers die, nor trees that wither
I've only seen a single bird's falling feather
I've never tasted hate, nor love that hurts more than heals
Only lived a beautiful life and neglected how it feels
What's with the rejection? and the vacant poor hearts?
What's with the pain we complain about that ends before it starts?
I wish upon a star tonight, for everyone to feel carefree
For there's more to life than the agony you and me plead..

Well..I said in the previous post that I should stop whining up to people..does that prevent me from whining up to myself in my own blog?? guess not..
Today, we're just in the middle of the day 3:24 pm here..but it's like the end for me..
I went to this stupid thing I don't want to remember it's name, to get my ID..they are literally bastards..I have been trying to do this for more than two or three weeks, wanna know the reasons why they kept postponing it?? No, you better not..
I was supposed to finish everything today and go for a photographer to have some pics to finally renew my passport..and I had it planned and everything.
Don't they usually screw things up?? yeah they do.
they postponed it till next Tuesday, I swear my dad is on the verge of killing me.
So anyway I'm really weak at these parts, my eyes started to water up, but I decided I'd just call a friend and laugh a little..making a joke out of it all.
I went to pay the internet bill before that..and meanwhile I went to some shops..since I need to buy one of my friends a gift.
Of course I didn't buy it because I payed money doing the damn ID thingies and paying the internet bill and my pocket was filled with emptiness.

But anywaaayyy..I was trying to do things that would make me feel good to get over the dark side in me..though I'm pretty sure I got over a big part of it.
I'm glad I have my friends..so very glad I have a family.
I'm just glad I'm alive
P.S Oh and don't get this the wrong way, Egypt is my passion..I just hate the way employees deal with normal people sometimes without bribes.Pffttt..

"I could bravely die to live
and never cowardly live to die"
Inspired from: Meditations In Rhyme by Nefisa El Seba'ai

I haven't got any poetic thoughts, since I've been kind of sick recently..I haven't been sleeping and I just wish to take some sleeping pills to get me back to life after I take the rest I need.
So instead of disappearing I will post the 8 things I wish I could do and another 8 things I did yesterday.

8 Things I wish I could Do~
1- Get my damned life back, though it is damned I still love it..ironic isn't it?
2- Publish my own poetry collection, and I would still call the book "Torn Pages Of a Poet"
3- Take care of my family more and show more affection.
4- Move on to the 4th course of studying, and Urghh it's going to be my last year in college!
5- Travel to see my old friends in the United Arab Emirates.
6- Read all poems by Shakespeare and learn to write Sonnets.
7- Be more optimistic, though I'm not that pessimistic, I still need to learn that life is good.
8- Stop whining up, for I sometimes whine just too much.

8 Things I did yesterday~
1- Talked to a good friend on the phone
2- Commented on some of my favorite authors' poems on Poems&Quotes.
3- Slept more than the previous day, which made me a little bit happy though I had a horrible headache all day long.
4- Published my double Balassi poem "Torn Pages Of a Poet" on P&Q (No I didn't post it here, but if you want to read it you'll find it on my P&Q account, link is on the upper right sites of my blog)
5- Had a good chat with my sisters :)
6- Studied a little bit of the Spanish novel I have, which made me laugh because it's a good satiric novel!
7- Prayed, the thing that gives me the internal relief.
8- Made a friend smile :)

Thank you Stillness Speaks for the tag =)
Please anyone feel free to do this on your blog, there are also the 8 things I'm looking forward to, and the 8 things I watch on t.v. But I'm not much of a talker lately so I didn't post them all.

False words lapse from my tongue
Just like the taste of a suicide song
Sheer thoughts become heavy on my note
Winds of anger removed what I wrote..
Even my heart is screaming for acceptance
To the cold reality of an inevitable existence
Skin is getting old, tired of all the rejection
quivering dreams dying for absurd perfections

Tarnished papers sought something new
Like a plant clinging to a morn's dew
Or like the waves that dissipate the shells
A thousand stories you can tell..

Isn't it a shame what we've become?
Always losing what we've always won?
Pluck the misery from my words,
I'm no poet of deception
Please forgive my black papers
They're false poetic misconceptions..

Betwixt reality and delusion
lie faces in black and white,
a portrait of the old times
Where the souls stand still;
Carefree.

It happened once-
When time was anonymous
And the memories we held
in frames
were innumerable
............................................
Today you put me in a frame
surrounded by crippled borders,
though colors shine like
a rainbow after winter rain,
You made smiles shrivel
in a hoax of dun reminiscences,
Done by the snap of your
narrow mind
.............................................
Draw me diaphanous,
next time you try to
comprehend me
Draw me disrupted-
I don't care

But please..
Don't draw me falsified;
For it's easier to have never known me
than to know me for years
Without picturing who
I really am.


Written Thursday, 2nd of April, 10:24 P.M
Yes this is a poem, finally, lol. Written for a poetry contest about song titles
[Who Needs Pictures is a song for Brad Paisley]

My words drown in oceans
succumb to your cold emotions
winds blow carefree sensations.
I watch my words melt slow
from papers used long time ago
Then you are my lockup, not salvation
please tell the heart again
To not trust golden chains
nor little infatuations..

I'm left before the shore
to fight a gruesome word war
Refusing to lose my pride
You watch me from afar
Your eyes cause dreadful scars
throwing the bottle aside
my words fall to the sea
No longer I am free
as you watch my heart divides..

10:33 PM. 14th of April.09

This was a practice for a Double Balassi poem..for more info google the poetry form "Balassi"