Thought-less

I stand puzzled, not knowing what to say..words would be so overrated and absurd..the sound of the wind itself abducts me far away from the place I call home..I cannot withstand it, because simply I'm a fear prone.
I fear withstanding because I might endlessly fall, who knows I could keep fighting until, abruptly, I'd hear death's call..
Winter sends cold chills to my body, I stand and sometimes sway..I keep praying to god, just take me away..I've felt this feeling before and I remember how easy it was to collapse, I hate being so lonesome, so hollow and alone.
There ain't any tears I want to shed..it doesn't sound like I'm that strong, though..every time I try to plant something, they either die inside already, or never sow.
I'm not a fighter, maybe I just don't fit on, especially, in this year, how come I'm still breathing and my face is blackened by sorrowed tears?
I don't believe in second chances, no one is ever worthwhile, I stopped believing in: "the little things that make you smile".
I'm wordless, I don't really know how to utter or spell the words I want to let out..Sometimes I'm really sick of the pain I cannot live without..
It saddens me the world I more everyday detest..it makes me shattered, sorrowed and constantly thought-less ..